Unwholesome Talk

"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people" - Eleanor Roosevelt.

I've never thought much about gossip. Oh, there are the little catty things people (especially girls) say behind other people's backs that usually get back to the person they've been said about and cause huge rifts in seemingly stable friendships; but, lately, my definition of gossip has been expanding. I was involved in a conversation today where the two other people talking were discussing people I didn't know, had never met, and would likely never meet in ways that were not flattering. However, much to my chagrin, I found myself not only listening, but, at one point, actively participating, sharing my own story. Just because it is true does not exclude it from the sphere of gossip. Just because what I said was true does not whitewash the fact that I said it in a fairly meanspirited sense. And, just because the people I was talking to didn't know the persons I was talking about does not clear me from the taint of shame for saying it. I think I am a little too cavalier about what I say. James put it this way: "the tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell." (James 3:6) That's a pretty stinging indictment. When you put it that way, maybe I really should 'hold my tongue' more often, as my mother used to say. Although, I'd like to tweak the old saying, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all," a little. Because sometimes what you need to say or what someone needs to hear is not exactly nice, as I tend to think of the word. Telling someone they've done a subpar job is not nice, but they need to hear it so they can do a better job next time. Maybe the saying should be something more along the lines of: "if you can't say something with a spirit of love, don't say anything at all." That should take care of church discipline and the little things we have to say. Of course, I think that once again the Bible has beaten me to that punch. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it might benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29. This is a verse I happen to struggle with, not because I don't believe it is true - it seems rather like a command to me and makes perfect sense. Rather, I have a tendency to read the part about 'building others up' as 'making others happy.' Biblical rebuke aside, telling people what they want to hear without becoming sanctimoniously self-righteous can be very difficult. It is a constant battle with pride to know you are right about something, yet avoid telling someone in a way that, not only are they going to be offended, but I am also going to be 'puffed up' as it were with the knowledge that I am right about what I am talking about.

Humans are interesting creatures - full of contradictions; but Christians are supposed to be new creations. It is really unfortunate that the old self continues to war against the new self. Ok, this whole thing started with gossip, so let me circle back around to that. My point, I guess, was that I have almost subconsciously slipped into an attitude of not caring about my words. I used to have this idea that when a person was judged by God, all the words that person had ever said would be spread out across the sky. I really don't know where I got that idea or whether I have completely abandoned it even, but it used to really scare me. The thought of all the words I have ever said here on this earth spread across the sky actually does still give me the creeps. It also makes me want them to be the right words, words I put some thought behind instead of just the trivial, chatty talk that comes out of my mouth so often. Okay, well, I'll wrap it up and leave it there, not because that's all I would have to say on the topic, but because I've bored everyone who is reading this to tears by this point :). Hope everyone is having a great Tuesday!
"Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving." Ephesians 5:4